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I have been in need of lots of help. I had surgery and was housebound for a while. I am a bit better now. Not completely but getting there. I was wondering why I am going through the physical, emotional and mental pain. One thing I did realize is my fiancee does not give up. He stepped up to the plate and has hung in there. He has cared for me, comforted me, done laundry, dishes, cleaning, errands… He has his own house to care for. So he was taking care of his and mine. Considering the idea that we are getting married it is nice to know he hangs in there when it is tough. We all know relationships go through good and bad times. I am blessed to have him and count my blessings daily.

Computers have a mind of their own. I tried to fix the post below but it wont change. I am sorry it is spaced weird. It is an inspiring post. I hope you read it.

This story and message are great.

I walked into the grocery store not particularly interested in buying

groceries. I wasn’t hungry. The pain of losing my husband was still too
raw. And this grocery store held so many sweet memories. He often
came
with me and almost every time he’d pretend to go off and look for
something
special. I knew what he was up to. I’d always spot him walking down
the
aisle with the three yellow roses in his hands.

He knew I loved yellow roses. With a heart filled with grief, I only

wanted to buy my few items and leave, but even grocery shopping was
different
since he had passed on.

Shopping for one took time, a little more thought than it had for two.

Standing by the meat, I searched for the perfect small steak and

remembered how he had loved his steak.

Suddenly a woman came beside me. She was blonde, slim and lovely In a

soft green pantsuit I watched as she picked up a large package of
T-bones,

dropped them in her basket. hesitated, and then put them back. She
turned

to go and once again reached for the pack of steaks. She saw me
watching her

and she smiled. “My husband loves T-bones, but honestly, at these
prices,
I don’t know.”

I swallowed the emotion down my throat and met her pale blue eyes.

My husband passed away eight days ago,” I told her Glancing at The
package

 

in her hands, I fought to control the tremble in my voice. “Buy him
the

steaks.” And cherish every moment you have together.”

She shook her head and I saw the emotion in her eyes as she placed the

package in her basket and wheeled away.

I turned and pushed my cart across the length of the store to the
dairy

products There I stood, trying to decide which size milk I should buy.
A
Quart, I finally decided and moved on to the ice cream. If nothing
else,

I could always fix myself an ice cream cone.

I placed the ice cream in my cart and looked down the aisle toward the

front! . I saw first the green suit, then recognized the pretty lady

coming towards me. In her arms she carried a package. On her face was
the

brightest smile I had ever seen. I would swear a soft halo encircled
her

blonde hair as she kept walking toward me, her eyes holding line.

As she came closer, I saw what she held and tears began misting in my

eyes. “These are for you,” she said and placed three beautiful long
stemmed

yellow roses in my arms. “When you go through the line, they will know
these are

paid for.” She leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek, then

smiled again. I wanted to tell her what she’d done, what the roses
meant,

but still unable to speak, I watched as she walked away as tears
clouded
my vision.

I looked down at the beautiful roses nestled in the green tissue
wrapping

and found it almost unreal. How did she know? Suddenly the answer
seemed
so clear. I wasn’t alone.

Oh, you haven’t forgotten me, have you? I whispered, with tears in my

eyes. He was still with me, and she was his angel.

Every day be thankful for what you have and who you are.

Please read all of this, it is really nice.

Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings. Thank
you,

Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf.

Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as

possible. Thank you, Lord, that I can see. Many are blind.

Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising. Thank you, Lord,
that I

have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden.

Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are lost,
toast

is burned, tempers are short, and my children are so loud. Thank you,

Lord, for my family. There are many who are lonely.

Even though our breakfast table never looks like the pictures in
magazines

and the menu is at times unbalanced. Thank you, Lord, for the food we

have. There are many who are hungry.

Even though the routine of my job often is monotonous. Thank you,
Lord,

for the opportunity to work. There are many who have no job.

Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my

circumstances were not so modest.

Thank you, Lord, for life.

Pass this on to the friends you know. It might help a bit to make

this

world a better place to live, right? A friend is someone we turn to

when

our spirits need a lift. A friend is someone to treasure.

For friendship is a gift. A friend is someone who fills our lives

with

Beauty, Joy and Grace and makes the world we live in a better and

happier

place.

DON’T LET CONFLICT KEEP YOU FROM SUCCESS by Chris Widener
 
Anytime you are making ground and moving toward success, there will inevitably be the opportunity for conflict. That is just a fact of life. You put two people or more in a group and there is potential for conflict – and conflict, improperly handled, can destroy your ability to continue on and achieve your goals.
This is true in many areas of life, from the boardroom to the schoolroom. It can happen in marriage and it can happen between friends and business associates. And when conflict goes bad, success doesn’t happen. The good news is that conflict can be healthy and can actually move you closer to success. Success is based on relationships and relationships offer the chance of conflict, so to get success, you must master conflict. So with that in mind, here are some ideas for handling conflict.

When you are the one who is confronting the problem with someone else:

1. Don’t assume. Don’t assume the worst. Don’t assume that they meant what you think they did. Don’t assume they know any better. Don’t assume they did it on purpose. The fact is that most of the time our assumptions are incorrect and all our assumptions do is cause us to get out of a deeper hole.

2. Ask questions. Since you can’t assume anything, you must begin your confrontation by finding out the facts as that person sees them. Here are some questions to ask: What was your intention in saying or doing that (Maybe they had good but misguided intentions)? What were the thoughts behind those words or actions (Maybe they actually have a well thought out position that you hadn’t thought of)? Are you aware of how that might have been perceived (Maybe they just missed how that would be seen. Everybody is entitled to blow it)?

3. Tell them how you perceive things, or how you feel, rather than what they did. It is never good to start out with telling somebody, “You did this!” Instead, you can say something like, “I feel like your action may have been better if you would have…” Or, “I think that the way that came across may have been…”

4. Deal with one issue at a time. If they battle back a bit, you may be tempted to say, “Well, that isn’t all! As a matter of fact, a number of us here think that you also need to work on…” If there is another issue, then deal with it at a separate time. Too many conflicts go around and around and don’t end up solving the original issue. Stick to one point and see it through to understanding.

When someone is confronting you:

1. Don’t take it personally. Worst-case scenario, you blew it. But that doesn’t make you a bad person. So don’t act like they have accused your character (unless they have, in which case you should try to get the conversation back to the facts). When we take things personally we become even more protective and we tend to become defensive and in the end escalate the conflict even more.

2. Don’t counterattack. This gets back to dealing with one issue at a time. Don’t try to justify or hide from the conflict the person has with you by showing him or her their problems. If they have a problem, great, talk about it later. Don’t muddy the waters with debate about who is better, or as the case may be, less guilty. As hard as it may be, let the conversation run its course until it is solved.

3. Ask for some time to give it objective reflection. One way to stop conflict from escalating is simply to ask for time to consider it. Most of the time when people confront us, we had no idea it was coming. Our natural tendency is to fight out of reaction. If we go and think about it, we can be objective and approach the situation objectively, or at least more so.

4. Set a time to get back with them and discuss the issue. Let the person know that you take their concern seriously and that you want to deal with it in a timely manner. Set a time, no more than three days away, to get back together. You will keep from reacting, and they may even find that they had confronted too soon themselves.

Either way:

1. Keep your eye on the big picture. Is this the hill you want to die on? Determine how important this issue really is. Most things simply aren’t worth getting too upset about, or so upset that the relationship breaks down. Is a productive business relationship worth sacrificing over the fact that you partner wears too much cologne or their spouse talks loudly at parties? Of course not, but some people go to war over those things. Is your husband worth giving up on because he leaves his underwear on the floor? Now, for the sake of argument, the reverse is true: The other person could wear less cologne or pick up their underwear, because that is an easy way to make the other person happy. Ask yourself if this is really a big deal. If it is, proceed.

2. Always respect the other person as a person. No matter what they have done, they are a person of value and deserve to be treated that way. They are not summed up and defined by their mistake. They have hopes and dreams, fears and worries, strengths and weaknesses. Take some time to picture them outside the office, playing with their kids or doing something fun. This will personalize your issue and keep you from going overboard.

3. Be solution oriented. Whatever you do, don’t focus on the problem. Ask yourself and the other person to approach the issue with the idea that you are both working for a solution that will be mutually beneficial. Rather than ask, “Why in the world did you do that stupid thing? What were you thinking?” Ask, “Okay, what is done is done – what can we do to fix this again?” That is much more productive. The goal is to get things going again, not continually punish the other person.

Conflict doesn’t have to end in a bad way. In fact, it can cause you to develop a deeper and more trusting relationship with the person you have had conflict with. So the next time you have to confront, or you are being confronted, follow the advice above and you will be much further along toward getting through your conflict in a positive way.

I am bored. Really bored. If I felt better I would go out. Wishing I did..

Do you want to know how many days your loved one has been gone? Do you want to put it in a memorial? Check out the calendar here. It figures it out for you..

http://calendarhome.com/date.shtml

I have many of these cds. I have found them so helpful. The music is so relaxing. You dont hear the sublimial messages consciously but your brain does.. It is so amazing.. Check them out.

http://www.innerpeacemusic.com/subliminal_series.html

This is a great article that I found helpful in connecting with my late husband. I love this stuff!!

http://www.geocities.com/Athens/5484/6-connec.htm

I was told that celery lowers high blood pressure. Does anyone know if it is true?

I watched some more of the dvd I ordered about living healthy. It said worry is a sin. I had never heard of that before. There is a bible verse that says cast all your cares on him because he cares for you. I guess that answers that..